Opinion...

Are we a nation of one-night stands?

What do Sisters and Estonia have in common? It's kind of a trick question, because I don't know the answer, either.

Since Russian troops withdrew from the Baltic states in 1994, we no longer hear much about those former Soviet republics.

How about Nicaragua? Remember when the deluge of information on that Central American nation rivaled today's flood from Afghanistan?

We lavish attention on the glamorous international intrigue that potentially impacts us and, then, we move on.

It's sort of a "love 'em and leave 'em" approach to international affairs.

Unfortunately, when we leave these spurned consorts all over the globe, it sometimes has a way of catching up with us.

Right now, all eyes are focused on the "stans:" Pakistan, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and all the rest.

Before the current barrage of information, I was as guilty as anyone else. The only Stan I knew much about was an old hunting buddy in North Carolina.

Pakistan is a really good example. Here was a country that stood by us during the Cold War and helped us stop the "Evil Empire" from reaching the Indian Ocean.

Together with Pakistan, we backed the mujahadin in Afghanistan and sent the Russians back to Moscow. That stand, in no small part, contributed to the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Like self-indulgent college boys, however, we got what we wanted and never called again.

So much for Pakistan. So much for Afghanistan. Instead of establishing lasting relationships, we proceeded to devote the 1990s to a sort of national narcissism that was even manifested in the behavior of our leadership.

Is it any wonder that Pakistan was a little gun-shy when we came courting after September 11? After all, the last time they got in bed with us, we messed up their lives pretty good and abandoned them without so much as a thank you.

It's been said that the best way for a country to become prosperous is to go to war with the United States and lose -- the old "Mouse That Roared" theory.

Already, people are complaining that, now, we'll have to go in and rebuild Afghanistan.

The sad truth is that much of this might be avoidable if only the United States would be a little more proactive in its relationships with other countries, but we seem unwilling to offer anything without expecting something in return.

Therein lies the problem. Our relatively young nation still thinks like a swaggering, self-indulgent adolescent.

Our country pursues, possesses, and consumes vastly disproportionate amounts of the world's resources and wealth, yet seems to have no particular sense of responsibility about it -- only a sense of entitlement.

There is no question that the United States is blessed with something of a Midas touch, but we need to remember the lesson, as well. If everything we touch is gold, we become so isolated that, eventually, all that we possess has no real value.

If there is a silver lining to the cloud of September 11, it is the lesson of how important the international community has been in supporting us.

Who would have thought, for example, that the United States would be the first benefactor of NATO's mutual defense provision?

At a time when we really needed some outside help, wasn't it nice to find out that we weren't alone?

In spite of our rather loutish behavior on the international stage, many countries that might well have taken pleasure in our discomfort, instead, offered support.

As we enter the Christmas season, it would be an appropriate time to reevaluate how we relate to other peoples, nations and cultures.

It would be an appropriate time to do the right things without expecting a quid pro quo.

It's time for our country to adopt a more mature and responsible international lifestyle.

It's time to create meaningful relationships. No more one-night "stans."