Finding homes for foster care 'drifters'

Find every foster child a permanent home: that's the goal of state services for foster children.

But some foster children are not likely to be adopted or reunited with their biological family. These children are typically in their teens, have lived in as many as 15 homes and have a long history of misbehavior and emotional disorders, said Asa Gemignani, Sisters area certifier for the Oregon Department of Human Services.

These kids are called "drifters."

Drifters are often sent to "last chance" foster homes, because if they can't make it at that home, they must move to residential treatment centers or group homes.

There are fewer than 10 foster kids living in Sisters and only two foster families who house them through the Oregon Department of Human Services, according to Gemignani (that number does not include other services, such as Maple Star, or foster homes which house relatives).

Both of these homes take teenage boys and both house "drifters."

One set of foster parents, Blanche and Orville Tadlock, has housed about 50 teenage foster children in the past 22 years, with as many as eight boys living with them at once.

Some of those children moved as many as 15 times before they moved in with the Tadlocks. But once a child reaches their house, he is welcome permanently, Blanche Tadlock said.

"Every time a child moves, he experiences another trauma in his life -- a new school, a new community, a new church, and new people," Blanche said. "Imagine how hard that would be. When they come here, as far as we're concerned, they are here until they are on their own."

The second foster home is under a single parent, Lee Bellahdid, who has never had any children of his own, but has worked many years with juveniles and foster children.

Bellahdid is also the girls' varsity soccer head coach at Sisters High School.

"My home is like a last chance," Bellahdid said. "Most of the kids could not make it in a regular home."

Bellahdid has housed 12 boys in the last two years, with as many as four in his home at once. During that time, he said only one child has chosen to leave his house and that was because he was 18 years old.

Other children were removed from his home because of misbehavior and sent to treatment centers; others reunited with their biological families, Bellahdid said.

The Tadlocks and Bellahdid are a rare find. Gemignani said the state asks new foster parents to commit to 12 to 15 months of parenting.

"The Tadlocks are a two-parent household and they are stable," Gemignani said. "They are a rare couple who has been doing this for many years, whereas we are happy if we can get a couple to commit to 12 to 15 months."

Gemignani said the Tadlocks and Bellahdid are housing their maximum number of children, so there is a high need for more foster parents in Sisters. Right now, children who are found in the Sisters School District must leave their friends and school and be placed in homes in Redmond, Bend or Terrebonne, Gemignani said.

Gemignani said there are 165 to 175 foster kids in the county, including about 70 who are in group homes or with relatives.

Gemignani said Sisters needs foster parents who will take infants and small children. The state wants these younger children to quickly find a permanent home before they also become "drifters."

Although 75 percent of foster parents in the program end up adopting their children, the uncertainty of these situations can be traumatic for the foster parents, as well as the children, Gemignani said.

"The most successful foster parents are those who are in it just for foster care," Gemignani said. "Those who want to adopt struggle more emotionally because they don't want to see the kids go home."

Blanche said less than 10 percent of her children have returned to their biological parents, but she said it is part of the child's nature to long for his parents.

"It doesn't matter how rotten the parents are or how abused the child is, the child always wants to be with his family," Blanche said.

Blanche Tadlock said she loses a piece of her heart every time she sees one of her children leave.

"Every time a child leaves, whether they are in trouble with the law or because they are old enough, I am torn up pretty bad for a couple of weeks," Blanche said. "But I write to the boys in the treatment centers once a week. When they leave our home, they don't stop being in our lives, because most of them have nobody."