Cancer survivors support each other

It’s a terribly lonely moment. Though thousands of women are diagnosed with breast cancer or other forms of the disease each year, each one feels isolated in the instant she is hit with those ominous words.

In Sisters, they don’t have to feel isolated for long. SOS — Support Our Sisters — is there to offer hope, encouragement, knowledge or simply a shoulder to cry on.

Marlene Patton, Elizabeth Rierson, Jan Baldwin and Marilyn Anderson founded SOS after they were all diagnosed with breast cancer within months of each other in 1996-97.

The support group has grown to about 25 members and has met regularly for eight years.

“It’s the longest-lasting private support group (of its kind) in Central Oregon,” Patton said. “We’ve kept this going, which is remarkable, everybody says.”

Part of the reason for that longevity is that the group reaches out to others — and not just to those diagnosed with breast cancer.

Jeanne Nolander was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma a couple of years ago.

“You’re just dumbfounded and horrified,” she said.

Patton heard about Nolander’s plight and contacted her. They spoke for about 45 minutes — two virtual strangers who suddenly had so much in common.

“It was amazing to somebody who was just blindsided by a cancer diagnosis,” Nolander said.

The group meets on the fourth Thursday of each month. Sometimes there are speakers; sometimes the women just talk. And, though the topics they deal with are as grim as they come, the meetings are not downbeat.

“People who are new to the group are amazed at how much laughter there is,” Patton said. “We have a good time.”

Katie Powers, another breast cancer survivor, says that “humor has to be the best medicine in itself.”

The support from the group is not limited to meetings. In fact, meetings are just a focal point; an important aspect of the security offered by the group is the availability of the members to help each other through lonely and difficult moments.

“They can call any time,” Powers said. “They can cry, they can laugh, they can do anything they want.”

The women can let down their guard among their peers and friends in a way that they can’t always do even with family members. Sometimes family members are so devastated by the diagnosis themselves that they find it hard to talk about their loved one’s condition. That can contribute to a feeling of isolation — and to an additional burden.

Many cancer patients try to be strong and hold themselves together for their family and friends.

“My way was to be ever-so-brave — it’s the Irish Catholic thing,” Nolander said. “You didn’t have to be that way with this group.

“The women in the group know that they can ‘lose it’ and they don’t lose anything,” she said. “They gain.”

Sometimes the support is evident in very concrete ways.

Breast cancer, especially if it involves the surgical removal of a breast, can be damaging to a woman’s sense of herself. Post-surgery options are fraught with emotional minefields.

Women often debate about reconstruction after a mastectomy, Patton said. By sharing their experience — to the point of literally showing the results — support group members have helped others reach a decision about this often difficult and confusing step.

The women noted that the Sisters community has been supportive, too. They saluted High Desert Hair Company for helping women who have lost some or all of their hair through chemotherapy.

“High Desert Hair shaved my head and I took my wig in and a new girl styled it and wouldn’t take any money,” Patton said.

Several of the women in the group serve as “Navigators” at St. Charles Medical Center, helping women find their way through the process of dealing with a cancer diagnosis.

For more information, contact Marlene Patton at 549-8139.

Author Bio

Jim Cornelius, Editor in Chief

Jim Cornelius is editor in chief of The Nugget and author of “Warriors of the Wildlands: True Tales of the Frontier Partisans.” A history buff, he explores frontier history across three centuries and several continents on his podcast, The Frontier Partisans. For more information visit www.frontierpartisans.com.

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