News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
A labor of love takes many shapes. For Sisters resident Grace Williamston, it is the form of a book written to chronicle the great loves she shared with two fine men.
Originally begun as a memoir for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, "Love at Both Ends of The Rainbow" became a healing tool for Grace. For many years she'd kept the truth about the early years of her first marriage to herself and writing about it allowed her to look at those times more objectively.
Grace, now approaching her ninth decade, grew up in Hawaii as one of the youngest of 12 children. Her parents were farmers, and the family lived and played on their land. The children rarely played at other children's homes; instead, their friends congregated on the farm to play, eat and be integrated into the large family.
It was a sweet and innocent childhood, one that didn't prepare Grace for the challenge of marriage to a man who became an alcoholic. One thing her upbringing did give Grace was unshakable faith and a belief in the strength of prayer.
She married Joshua Bons in 1937 and began a marriage that would last 41 years until his death from cancer. Josh was the son of Dutch immigrants and entered the U.S. Army at age 16. He was a large and imposing youth, easily passing as a man.
"He looked like a man but was still a child," said Grace. "He learned to drink to prove he was a man."
Throughout the first 10 years of the marriage, Josh would begin drinking then stop and then begin again. It was a random thing, one that kept Grace wondering when the next bout would begin. The unusual aspect was that Josh could stop whenever he felt inclined. He didn't admit to a problem because of his ability to put the brakes on the drinking.
"I loved him and stayed with him, hoping for the day he would stop," said Grace.
She kept her fears to herself, praying continually and gradually learning about the disease of alcoholism. As the years passed, her resolve increased, and she was able to stand back in hope. She knew Josh needed help, but being a proud Dutchman, he would not look to anyone but himself for a solution.
"I proved to be right in just holding on," Grace said. One day Josh realized that the problem was in taking that first drink and he resolved to never do that again and he didn't. He also shunned support groups, figuring people needed to solve their own problems.
The next 31 years were sweet ones for Grace and Josh and came to a sad end with Josh's death in 1979 at age 63.
Grace found comfort in helping others and became an active volunteer at St. Charles Medical Center in Bend and with the fledgling hospice movement. She spent the next six years working tirelessly with those facing end-of-life challenges.
She met Willie Williamston at the bedside of his wife as she helped them both through his wife's death. Many months later, their friendship bloomed.
"I didn't know I was lonely until I started dating Willie," said Grace. They were married in 1984 and enjoyed 17 years together until his death in 2001, also of cancer.
"The love I had with Willie was a completely mature, loving companionship. There were no worries of children; we traveled and entertained," said Grace.
In her book, Grace describes Josh as the love of her live, Willie as her soulmate.
Grace is a tiny woman, barely 100 pounds and sweetly spoken. Her strength resides deep within, in a place tempered by challenges faced alone. Even when her faith wavered, she trusted God that Josh would be saved from alcoholism.
"I don't regret any of it. It gave me a sense of stamina and strength. I felt like I did good," she said, summing up a life with love at both ends of the rainbow.
Grace Williamston's book is available at Paulina Springs Books in Sisters.
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