Seven steps to protecting children

Last updated Mar 13, 2007 12:0pm0

Darkness to Light, a national, non-profit organization, is confronting sexual abuse head on. The organization has developed a seven-step plan to train adults to protect children from being the victims of sexual abuse.

Last Thursday, March 8, concerned area residents participated in a three-hour training session that provided them with tools to prevent, respond and react responsibly to child abuse (see related story, page 31).

Current statistics estimate that one in six boys and one in four girls is sexually abused before he or she is 18.

According to Detective Mike Quick of the Deschutes County Sheriff's Office, the most powerful thing an adult can do to prevent child abuse is to empower their kids.

"Let them know that they can say 'no' to an adult. Let them know they can say 'no' to an older sibling, to a family friend," Quick said.

A big problem according to Quick is when an older sibling is left to care for a younger sibling.

"Mom tells the 15-year-old - 'you're in charge' - tells the 11-year-old 'do whatever 15-year-old tells you to do.' It kind of takes the empowerment away from the 11-year-old to say 'no,'" Quick said.

Thursday night's training at the SOAR Community Center was proactive. The goal according to Quick is "hopefully preventing some abuses from happening." Quick works with child abuse cases throughout Deschutes County.

"Sisters is not exempt from that," he said. "It's not the stranger that swipes the kid. It's more family friends and trusted people with the family - family members."

Thursday's seven-step training provided practical how-tos .

1. Attention was brought to the workshop's participants that they likely know a child who has been or is being abused. They likely know the children's abusers. Darkness to Light statistics suggest that 30 to 40 percent of abused children are abused by family members, and 60 percent are abused by individuals the family trusts.

2. Since most child abuse occurs in "one adult/one child" situations, participants learned that careful thought should be given as to whether these situations are safe; eliminating one-on-one encounters will often significantly reduce the risk of child abuse.

Participants were cautioned to give special attention to situations when older youth have access to younger children. Preventative measures include dropping in if a child is alone with an adult whether it be a family member or trusted friend and making sure that any outings are observable.

3. Participants were trained to talk with their children about their bodies, child abuse and sex. They learned to provide their children with specific examples of adult sexual actions that are "against the rules." Through effective communication, children are often less vulnerable to sexual abuse and more willing to tell if they encounter abuse.

Often children will tell a teacher or other trusted adult rather than his or her parent.

4. Participants learned to watch for signs that a child is being abused. If physical signs are spotted, the child should be immediately examined by a professional who specializes in child sexual abuse. Signs, however, are often not obvious. Trainees learned to be alerted if a child acts too perfectly or becomes extremely depressed. Unexplained anger and rebellion can also be signs, as well as sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate. In some cases children show no signs whatsoever.

5. Participants were cautioned to react responsibly if a child discloses abuse. They were taught to believe what the child says and encourage the child to talk by asking leading questions. They learned to assure the child they will protect him or her. According to Darkness to Light, "very few reported incidents (of child sexual abuse) are false."

6. Participants learned to have the courage to report suspected child sexual abuse. They were alerted that all 50 states require such reporting. They also learned where and how to go about reporting child abuse.

7. Participants learned specifically of volunteer opportunities that exist in the community to help prevent child abuse.

For more information about the Darkness to Light child abuse prevention training that is being provided throughout Central Oregon by KIDS Center and 11 partner agencies, visit http://www.kidscenter.info.

Sisters is not immune to child predators

Two three-year-olds shock their caregiver as they attempt a French kiss. Another preschooler tries to fondle an infant boy as his diapers are changed. A red flag goes up in the caregiver's mind. What have these children seen? What have they experienced? Where did they ever get the ideas to do these things?

The signs are sometimes more subtle in older children and teenagers. Often there are no physical signs. Emotional and/or behavior signals can warn adults of what may be happening in the dark corners of children's lives. A well-tuned ear will sometimes pick up warning signs. Comments can be telling.

"Child abuse is ever lasting. ... It's something that affects people their whole lives. It's a very important topic," said Deschutes County Sheriff's detective Mike Quick.

Helping adults prevent and recognize child sexual abuse, as well as providing them the tools to react responsibly to it, is the purpose of the proactive, child sexual abuse prevention training program developed by the national organization called Darkness to Light. Founded in 2000, Darkness to Light is a 501c3 non-profit organization located in Charleston, South Carolina. For detailed information about Darkness to Light visit their Web site: http://www.darkness2light.org.

AmeriCorps volunteer Hilary Welsh and Detective Quick brought the Darkness to Light training to Sisters on Thursday evening , March 8. A group of concerned parents, caregivers, teachers, business women and citizens spent three hours learning "7 Steps to Protecting Our Children" (see related article, page 3).

The session was only attended by women.

"I just moved here from Montana just for this. I love how everybody here ... how we collaborate to go against this hard, hard issue," Welsh said. "The sheriff's office as well as the KIDS Center and COBRA (Central Oregon Battering and Rape Alliance) and a ton of other community partners have all just worked together so well to protect kids."

Central Oregon's non-profit child abuse intervention organization the KIDS Center, in conjunction with 11 partner agencies, is sponsoring the training throughout Central Oregon. The project is being funded in part through a four-year grant from the Meyer Memorial Trust.

According to the KIDS Center, for every one adult trained in this program, 10 children are "potentially better protected." To date some 1,300 Central Oregon adults have been trained, theoretically safeguarding 13,000 children. Twenty-seven facilitators conduct the training throughout Deschutes, Crook and Jefferson counties.

"Actually, Central Oregon is one of the leaders in child sexual abuse prevention with Darkness to Light," Welsh said.

Shifting the "responsibility for child sexual abuse prevention from children to adults" is the goal of the training that is geared to educating and awareness. The training "gives parents and educators tools in order to protect their kids," Welsh said.

The spectrum of those who abuse is broad. According to Darkness to Light, child sexual abusers are often "pillars of the community." They are fathers, mothers, relatives, lawyers, doctors, business owners, nurses, airline pilots and attendants, individuals who are self employed, teachers, clergy and individuals from every other walk of life imaginable. It should never be assumed that a person's role in a community makes a child safe.

Most importantly, abusers are not strangers. Statistics compiled by Darkness to Light find that 90 percent of children know their abusers.

"Child abuse happens in our town," said Quick.

The reality that child abuse happens in Sisters came home last month when "pastor" Shane Hall was convicted of Five counts of Sex Abuse in the First Degree. (See "'Pastor' Hall goes to jail," The Nugget, February 7, 2007, page 1).