Old John Crow is back

The last time we saw turkey vultures (TVs) was in late September of last year. They came winging in from as far away as Warm Springs to spend the night in Sisters. The weather was turning cool, the sun swinging far to the south and the daylight hours shortening.

That's what drives TVs south: the angle of the sun in relation to the earth, duration of daylight and temperature. There's not much to a TV to keep them warm. They're as skinny as a rail fence, running to about six pounds and not much meat on their bones to build up body heat on cold nights, so going south is vital to their survival.

That last night they were here, adults, juveniles, males, females, resident TVs and out-of-towners all surged into Sisters at sundown, competing for a comfortable spot to spend the night.

The next morning was cold, and the birds spent an hour or so holding their wings open with their backs to the morning sun, warming their flight muscles, a position known as the "horaltic pose." By 10 a.m. they were soaring south in a "kettle," not to be seen again in Sisters until mid-March of this year.

Where do they spend the winter? My guess is that a few end up around Sacramento, Imperial Valley and maybe a few more around San Diego and LA - true "Snowbirds."

Food is no problem for TVs. In addition to their favorite diet, dead animals, they also dine on a variety of plants. Rotting pumpkins are heavenly health hash, and decaying kelp along the seashore sends them into frenzy. Stinky fish left over after spawning, or when irrigation water drains a ditch and leaves them high and dry, are also "finger-lickin' good" for TVs soaring south.

A bloated cow in a pasture is another refueling stop. And they smell it long before they see it. Unlike condors that use their incredible eyesight to locate carrion, a TV can smell the gases wafting from a dead animal miles from the source.

Bird literature states that TVs are "gentle and non-aggressive." Don't you believe it! I've banded TVs over the years. I know the babies can inflict a nasty wound, and when adults are on a carcass they spend a lot of time squabbling over the best spot inside a dead cow.

The last thing you ever want is to be bitten or puked on by a TV. The bacteria and other stuff in a their mouth is enough to gag a maggot. However, in spite of all that awful offal they eat, mutes (poop and urine) emitted from the tail end of the TV is sterile. Even diseased flesh from an animal that died of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is rendered harmless by the digestive abilities of a TV. That's just one reason they are the best of the cleanup crew.

Ornithologists are struggling over how to classify TVs. They started out with the raptors because they eat meat. "Raptor," however, means "to seize." A TV couldn't seize a sick skunk. Their feet are not built for grasping but perfect for standing on a slimy, dead deer carcass while they stick their naked head into the corpse for a baleful beakful of glop.

The naked head is also an asset (red for adult, black for juvenile). Not only does it give them their name of "Turkey," but also it keeps bacteria from clinging to feathers. Vultures also urinate down their legs to cool them in summer and to keep powerful bacteria in rotting flesh from causing problems we do not know about.

These habits, along with their anatomy and DNA, have given TVs a shove toward being a relative of storks, but even that is in question.

It takes from 38 to 41 days for a TV egg to hatch. The nest is hidden away in so many places it is difficult to give one perfect example. Darkness is favored, probably because they don't want the new kid to see what it is going to have for the first meal. A few days before the egg is about to hatch, the male comes home with rotting flesh in his crop and regurgitates it into a pile for when the chicks (sometimes three) come into the world.

What a way to start life...