They don't come any bigger!

This has been the "week of the beetle."

Several people have called and e-mailed, asking about "giant beetles" on their tree, fence or house, while others have delivered them to my door in jars.

The beetle in the photo is almost three inches long, and as such, it is the largest native beetle in the Northwest. If you know anything about beetles, then you also know that the larva (grub) is even bigger! In many places throughout the Northwest the larvae are known as a "timberworm."

I know what you're thinking: "Man, if that thing eats trees, it must be worse than the mountain pine beetle!"

The good news is, it isn't; you can relax. Ponderous pine beetles (also known as Sawyer Beetles) and their kin are no threat to live trees; the larva only feed on dead and decaying trees - standing or down.

These gigantic coleopterans move in right after a fire; in fact, I think they smell the smoke and head right for the burn before the trees have cooled down. This is especially important for female woodpeckers, as the female beetles are rich with eggs, which means lots of protein for mom and would-be momma woodpeckers.

That's one reason a burned forest is immediately infested with just about every woodpecker in the countryside; they want to get in on the beetle feast.

Adult sawyer beetles cannot eat; all the males can do is use their strong mandibles to fight each other for a mate, or bite an inquisitive human. While the male beetles are flying around searching for a nice fat egg-carrying female - and females are flying about looking for suitable trees in which to lay eggs - spotted owls, screech owls, saw-whet owls, woodpeckers, flying squirrels, shrews and even yellow jackets are out to eat them.

It takes up to five years for the sawyer beetle to grow from egg to adult. In that time, the larva is prey to woodpeckers, hosts to parasitic wasps, and magnificent Pileated woodpeckers pry them out of their tunnels in dead trees.

Female ichneumon wasps use their sensitive antenna to locate the exact location of the grub, then drill a hole into the wood with her ovipositor and lay an egg right on her target. When the egg hatches the tiny grub starts sucking body fluids out of the huge beetle larva, and eventually drains it dry.

When (and if) the larva reaches maturity that awesome miracle of metamorphosis takes place. The larva tunnels its way to within a few inches of the surface, spins a silken sack, drops into the soil and "dies" as it transforms from a living organism to genetic soup. By late summer the "soup" has reformed into the adult insect, the huge adult beetle chews its way out of the silken bag, steps out into the moonlight and takes wing.

My first introduction to the beautiful sawyer beetle was at Big Lava Lake back in the '50s. I was in Phil Coyner's tent playing pinochle with him and his family with the aid of a Coleman lantern. Suddenly a loud "Thunk!" hit the side of our tent, followed by a loud sawing sound sliding down the walls of the tent. We rushed outside, and lo-and-behold, there was a huge sawyer beetle on its back trying to right itself. As I picked it up (carefully to avoid the pincer-like jaws), it continued making the sawing sound by rubbing its wings against the hard shell-like covering its wings.

I had another personal encounter with the huge grubs of wood-boring beetles, not in the Northwest, but in Australia. Similar beetles feed on dead eucalyptus trees and the larva are staple food for aborigines. My native friends encouraged me to cook one (as in marshmallow) and eat it - but that, Dear Reader, is "another story."