War widow guest of honor at 'Talkies'

Xuan Nguyen was the guest of honor Thursday night at Sisters Movie House, for a special screening of the Academy-Award-nominated documentary, "Regret To Inform."

The moving film chronicles the stories of Vietnam widows whose lives had been shattered by the tragic costs of war, told from the perspective of both sides of the battle. Nguyen was the director's interpreter for the documentary and is herself a war widow featured in the film, who braved the bombs and brutality to escape and raise a family here in the United States.

She is now a successful businesswoman, making custom wedding dresses.

Married and having raised three sons, she lives half the year in Great Falls, Montana, and the other in Vietnam.

Sisters Movie House owner, Lisa Clausen, introduced the film to a sizeable crowd: "Xuan is such an amazing person and I am so proud she is here with us."

After the film screening, Nguyen spoke to the audience and answered questions.

"I want to thank you all for coming with open hearts to see this film," she said. "I am so fortunate to be a woman who has two countries and thankful I survived. If it was not for the war I'd never have come to your country and experience your love and compassion."

Nguyen explained how hard it was for her to be involved with the film.

"Vietnamese people have a private culture, they don't want to share, they are afraid to offend the government of America if they talk or get their relatives in trouble back in Vietnam. It is such a fine line no one wanted to cross. It took me six years to decide to be interviewed."

In attendance were several Sisters area veterans, including Tom Barrier, an Army captain who served a short tour of duty in Vietnam in 1966.

"I once asked my senior officer why we were in Vietnam. He told me, son, it's not much of a war but right now it's the only one we got," he recalled.

After the war, Nguyen got a job at a Portland bride shop doing alterations and repairs.

"It is something I love to do and I get paid," she said. "It allowed me to pay my bills, raise my kids, and send money back to Vietnam to my mother and brother and sister. And when I get to that dark place inside, boy, I rip that seam out!"

Her advice to people regarding our returning military servicemen and women is simple: When a vet comes back, they're not weird or crazy, they just have different experiences. Pay attention to them and lend a helping hand and be a better listener, someone to reach out."

She has traveled all over the world in support of the film, and it has allowed her to grow and mature in ways she never thought possible. Some days are better than others, and the nightmares still intrude into her dreams.

"The movie is sad, but all the widows did a great job telling their stories," she said. "And it didn't matter where you were from, America or North or South Vietnam, when your husband gets killed, you cry and your tears taste salty and that makes us all the same."