The Nugget News Ballet

Have you ever wondered how those advertising inserts get into The Nugget Newspaper every week? If you think it happens with some kind of newspaper machinery, forget it; it happens all because of the talents of the hard-working, fun-loving "Nugget News Ballet."

Stuffing The Nuggets with inserts is a ritual that started when the first Nugget hit a couple of decades ago. Several members of the ballet have been doing the dance for years; one participant, Debbie Slater - director of the stuffer's dance team - has been at it for over 10 years. She's the one who ensures that the movements of the dancers is a symphony of coordination with no wasted energy.

The Nugget Stuffers Ballet begins every Tuesday afternoon when Nugget editor Jim Cornelius climbs into The Nugget delivery van and drives to Bend, returning to Sisters with the van filled with papers, all bundled into units of 50 papers. Many of the residents of Sisters have seen the gray van backed up to the front door of The Nugget offices Tuesday afternoon, waiting patiently for the troupe to commence unloading it at 5 p.m.

Teresa Mahnken, who has her "office" in the paper's foyer, is the official Nugget greeter, and she is the ballet dance company's overseer. It's her responsibility to inform Debbie Slater of how many inserts must be placed into the papers that evening. If there are any more than two inserts, then extra "dancers" will be brought in to bring the company up to speed.

Debbie is usually first to arrive to look things over, then Lori Boyle comes bouncing into the office, eager to use her hands to dance the light fantastic. "Shorty" Hurtley also arrives, followed by Sally Blust and Totsy Swartz.

To ensure the stuffers stay well nourished, each dancer takes turns supplying "goodies" that will help sustain the troupe as they perform throughout the evening.

Many names have been used for the troupe, but they affectionately call themselves the IPD, the initials for "Information Producing Determiners." (In other words, they feel they are the ones who determine what will appear "in" the paper.)

The overture to The Nugget Stuffers Ballet finds the troupe waltzing in from the van with up to four strapped bundles under their arms and deftly placing them in their predetermined locations.

As the overture ends, Shorty begins placing piles of inserts and bundled papers in their assigned spaces in a uniform manner. Totsy moves the mailing labels to a counter-top on a cabinet behind Teresa's "desk." (Even though Totsy has seven years of experience, she's undergoing training at this time as a "label-sticker.")

Then the one-act Stuffers Ballet begins. On a counter near the office window, Shorty begins to stuff inserts with the ease and grace of gentle wind blowing through her long hair. On one end of Teresa's "office" counter, Lori's hands begin to flutter like bat wings as she deftly slips inserts into papers. Next to her, Sally's hands are a blur as she follows suit almost as fast as the speed of light. Debbie is at the opposite side of the office - her hands moving like a fly's wings as the inserts glide into the papers.

Totsy is sticking labels on subscription papers with hand movements that mirror the rippling waters of Whychus Creek. The only thing that interrupts this fluid motion is the occasional appearance of a harmless grass spider. "EEEEK!" Totsy sometimes screams, backing away from the counter-top, but just for a moment; years of discipline and practice call her back to the dance, spiders or no spiders.

Throughout the stuffing ballet there is constant musical banter flowing between the dancers, most of it punctuated with bursts of laughter. "This is our night to gab - but - as we have all taken the IPD oath, what is discussed stays within the office walls," vows Debbie.

By 7:30 p.m. the ballet has ended, with the final insert sliding smoothly into the last Nugget, and the stuffed papers bundled up in the back of the van again. The company laughs, and chatter is jolly, as they go about turning off lights and locking up. They depart talking about all the fun they had doing their Tuesday night dance, or as Lori puts it, "Tuesday night is also our 'night at the gym,' our 'workout night.'"

Jim Cornelius returns and drives off, beginning his long night of delivering papers to their respective locations for distribution. By the time he parks the van late in the night, he has morphed back into the editor of The Nugget, and the IPD ballet troupe is home washing the black ink from their hands and chins, everyone looking forward to next Tuesday night's performance.