Sparrow family is beacon of hope

Daniel Pite has a message for other families walking the dark road of childhood cancer: take heart.

When the Pite family - in their bleakest hours - needed someone to go to battle for them, the community of Sisters led the charge.

"It was the Sisters Outlaws that were the first group in Oregon to stand up for our family," says Daniel, whose daughter Hannah was "adopted" by the Sisters High School Sparrow Club in 2003.

For the past six years, the Pites have made it their lifework to help other families survive the devastation of losing a child - without falling apart.

When it became clear that their lovely, curly-headed Hannah was not going to survive her leukemia, Daniel and Talya Pite made the decision that their family, including son Elias, was not going to be irreparably broken by their circumstances.

"Cancer wins if you allow it to define you," says Daniel. "My son deserves more from us as his parents. What if Hannah were with us and she felt her illness were responsible for the family falling apart? We made a decision that our journey forward was going to be as a family."

They determined to begrudgingly accept it, says Pite, "like the drunk uncle at your holiday party."

As they experienced that life "grinds on painfully" after such a loss, the Pites chose to move forward with purpose.

Since 2005 they've raised over $40,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) - money that's been used to help fight children's blood cancers. It began with Hannah's sixth birthday party, which Daniel remembers as a "community celebration" and fundraiser.

Hannah, who her dad describes as "a girlie-girl who liked to dress up," danced the limbo and painted on an artist's canvas. The following day turned out to be "the beginning of the end for her" says Daniel. Hannah passed two months later.

After continuing with annual fundraising events on behalf of the LLS, the Pites established their own

501(c)(3) non-profit last year, the Bpositiv Foundation.

Bpositiv is aptly named. Remarkably, after Hannah received a stem cell transplant, her blood type changed from A positive to B positive. Says Daniel, "We recognized that it was absolutely the right message to give people."

Bpositiv is a way to memorialize Hannah but more importantly, it's to help the next family.

Their mission is to provide guidance and emotional support to those facing the loss of a child, "so they don't feel alone and the sadness doesn't become destructive," he says. Families dealing with cancer often struggle with learning to accept help.

The Bpositiv Foundation also hopes to build an endowment to offer financial support to families.

On January 29, which is the Saturday closest to Hannah's birthday, they'll host an evening of art, wine and music at McMenamins in Bend. The event is free, open to all ages, and Sisters residents are especially welcome.

Sisters has always held a warm place in the hearts of the Pite family.

"Our secret camping spots and fondest memories are all wrapped around Sisters," says Daniel, so it was especially poignant that it was Sisters High School's Sparrow Club that stepped up to help with Hannah's medical expenses with just a few weeks left in the 2003-2004 school year.

Students performed community service work and accomplished in two weeks what most schools work at for a whole year: they matched $2,560 in seed money which was put up by the late Dick "Rhino" Reinertson.

The students went on to surpass their commitment, carrying out additional fundraisers to raise a total of $4,000.

"It was miraculous," says Daniel. "We were so inspired by the way those young adults answered the call. It's part of the beauty of Hannah's story."

Hannah liked to sleep in a Sisters Outlaws T-shirt.

Daniel himself says he still wears an Outlaws sweatshirt. And he assures that when he coaches the lacrosse team for Bend High School this spring he "certainly won't be firing up the troops to bring down Sisters."

Because of Hannah, the Pite family moves forward with strength and a deeper sense of purpose. Daniel and Talya live and work in Bend. He's been a keynote speaker for the LLS at events around the country; in 2010 the family received a "Board Citation" by the National Board of Directors for their work on behalf of the LLS.

Hannah's big brother Elias, now 13, plays lacrosse, gets straight As and just made all-state band.

"Elias is the real hero," says his dad. "He never wavered in his support of her. He honors his sister with the way he lives."

While Daniel admits that the battle for families in crisis is daunting, he adds, "I'm just hopeful. And I'm positive. Our love created that child and we have gained so much by her being in our lives. How could it be a negative thing? We decided if we can't do anything else we were going to set an example... that you can be a family through tragedy."

For more information about the Bpositiv charity art event at McMenamins, visit http://www.bpositiv.org or e-mail [email protected]