Whipps spreads lifesaving message

When good kids engage in risky behavior, and their friends keep it a secret, the consequences can be deadly. Just ask Sisters resident Penny Whipps.

Four years ago, Penny received a phone call that altered her life forever: Her son Kyle was dead of an accidental heroin overdose. In the wake of an unimaginable nightmare, Penny felt she had two choices: go crazy, or go public. She chose to speak out, and founded the non-profit organization Just1x.

In 2012, she delivered a lifesaving presentation to student assemblies in 50 schools across the country and in Canada. Now she invites the Sisters community to attend a live taping of the assembly at Sisters High School, next Monday evening, March 18.

Her message? Beware the consequences of risky behavior, and understand the power of friendships. Penny uses Kyle's story to challenge students to break the code of silence and seek help for their friends who live dangerously.

She finds that students usually fall into one of three groups: They're already participating in risky behavior; they're thinking about it because they want to be accepted by a peer group; or they know someone who is making dangerous choices and they are keeping it a secret.

"That hits just about every kid in a school," says Penny.

Forewarned is forearmed, she believes. Parents and others invested in youth are often hard-pressed to pick up on any warning signs. Gone are the days when at-risk kids could be identified using socio-economic indicators, according to Penny's contacts in the U.S. Attorney General's office, as well as state and local law agencies.

"What they're telling me is there's a new demographic of students at risk in our schools today. Kids from all walks of life are falling prey - kids you'd never be able to identify because they're so high-functioning in their communities. They're good students, athletes, from middle and upper class."

Her son didn't fit an obvious profile. Kyle was a strong student, well liked at school, and a musician.

"He had everything to live for," says Penny.

Another hazard, she says, is the range of intoxicants students are exposed to at parties may go well beyond alcohol and marijuana.

"They're mixing pills from their parents' medicine cabinets. Meth, heroin, and cocaine are here, just as they are in Portland."

The Just1x assembly is designed for students from fifth grade through high school, because statistics show fifth grade is when the average child is first offered alcohol or drugs. Penny targets other types of risky behaviors as well-what she terms "activities with potentially life-altering consequences" - including texting while driving, cutting (self-harm), bullying, depression and suicide.

The heart of Just1x is not just to save young lives. Penny is also on a mission to prevent the anguish of regret for those friends left behind following a deadly tragedy.

On the day of his death, Kyle's friends knew he had done something dangerous. But for varying reasons, they didn't feel they could say anything. "These were good friends," says Penny.

"The code of silence starts young, and it's powerful. Friends don't tell."

Across the nation, in schools and on reservations, students cite the same three reasons for keeping a friend's dangerous secret: "I love my friend," "I don't want to get them in trouble," and "I don't want to be disliked and called a 'narc.'"

After a Just1x assembly, kids are typically wide-eyed and even emotional, she says. "Students get it. (Their friends' behavior) is no longer funny. It's not a joke any more."

Following one presentation in the Dakotas, a teen girl approached Penny. Through sobs, she shared, "Three months ago, my best friend started doing drugs, so I told her mom. My friend dumped me and called me a narc. My friend was here today. She just came over to me and said, 'Thank you for telling my mom.' She wants to be friends again."

After hearing such stories in eight different states, Penny is more convinced than ever that "the strongest weapon is to break the code of silence. Kids' lives are being changed and they're making better choices."

To that end, Just1x has two goals for the coming months: strengthen the infrastructure of the 501(c)(3) non-profit by recruiting new executive board members, and develop curriculum. The organization is sustained through private and corporate donations.

During her career as a publicist, creating speaking opportunities for others, it never occurred to Penny she would one day be motivated to move outside her comfort zone to speak in public herself.

"Speaking with Just1x, telling Kyle's story over and over, is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'm willing to be uncomfortable so I can ask students to consider being uncomfortable. My hope is, if one day they are in that situation, they'll remember that mom from Oregon who told them her son's story."

Penny acknowledges she will continue to grieve her loss for the rest of her life. "My faith sustains me, but it is hard. Every day, you wake up and your child's not there."

Parents, students and teachers, as well as anyone interested in what's happening in our schools, are invited to a live taping of the 45-minute assembly on Monday, March 18, at 7 p.m. at SHS. Applications will be accepted for the Just1x executive board. More information is available, www.just1x.com.