Coping with the loss of a pet

Our pets bring so much love, support, and companionship into our lives. Many people have experienced the joy that comes with having a pet, yet sadly there also comes a time when they have to face the heartbreak of losing that cherished friend.

A pet is a constant companion, and facing its loss can be devastating.

Given the intense bond most of us share with our animals, it's natural to feel overwhelmed by feelings of grief when a pet dies. For many people a pet is not "just a dog" or "just a cat." Pets are beloved members of the family and when they pass away, you may feel a significant, traumatic loss.

Grieving is a personal, individual experience. Some people find the mourning process comes in stages, where they experience different feelings such as denial, anger, guilt, depression, and eventually acceptance. Others find that grief may come in waves, or a series of highs and lows. Some people may take weeks to sort out their sadness, while others can take months or even years. Your age, how the pet passed away and the closeness of your relationship all play a part in the feelings you experience.

Give yourself permission to grieve. Accept the fact that you were very close to your pet and recognize how much your animal friend meant to you.

Stay connected with friends. Seek out people who will let you express your sorrow. A warm understanding and supportive listener can help tremendously.

Memorialize your pet, planting a tree in his memory, or start a scrapbook to share the memories you enjoyed with your pet with family members and friends.

Pets help many adults stay active and playful, which can boost your immune system and increase your energy. It's important to keep up your activity levels after the loss of your pet.

Surviving pets can also experience loss when another animal in the household dies, or they may become distressed by your sorrow. Maintaining their daily routines, or even increasing exercise and play times will not only benefit the surviving pets but may also elevate your outlook, too.

When the family pet dies, children can also have a hard time coming to terms with this loss. For many children, the loss of a pet may be their first experience with death. 

You can explain to your child that the pet lives on in memories and answer any questions your child may have. You can also explain that it is normal for them to feel really sad for awhile. Photos of your pet may also be of comfort to your child.

While grief is a personal experience, you don't need to face your loss alone. Many forms of support are available, including pet-bereavement counseling services, pet-loss support hotlines, and local or online pet-bereavement groups. By calling a local humane society you can find out whether it offers a pet-loss support group or can refer you to one.

Working through your grief will help you to get closer to the day when you are able to remember your pet with a smile. While you'll always miss your pet, time does dull the pain and heal your grief.