Of a certain age...

"Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation."

~ Lois Wyse ~

Summertime in Sisters, for many of us, means houseguests and family visits, as our friends and relatives come to share in the beauty and activities of Central Oregon.

For those lucky enough to have them, the arrival of grandchildren often marks the highlight of the summer. Who else but a grandchild expresses such unfettered delight at seeing you, running with abandon to hug you as all their important news tumbles out?

This past week, at the invitation of a friend, I had the opportunity to spend a few days at the beach. We stayed with her daughter-in-law and two delightful granddaughters, ages 12 and 10. Shy at first with a stranger, the girls soon warmed up to me and I enjoyed two days immersed in the world of childhood, watching my friend answering to "Gramma" and sharing family stories that provide a sense of self for a child.

This short interlude, punctuated by the curiosity and wonder of examining tide pools, hiking in the woods at dusk, and making brownie cupcakes because we lacked the proper baking pan, tapped into a personal place of pleasure and pain.

I have one granddaughter who is now 14 years old. I was present in the delivery room for her birth, and spent many hours babysitting during her infancy and toddlerhood. We shared a very special bond as we explored her ever-widening world. Like my mother before me, I was Nana, and coming to my house meant playing with the dogs and kitty, discovering backyard wonders, and walking to the neighborhood park for swing time.

Grandparents have the gift of time and patience to give to their grandchildren, without all the parental expectations and pressures we had when our own children were young. I reveled in watching Madison crouch over a ladybug, watching it crawl up her arm. Her squeals of delight are etched in my memory. I remember teaching her to ride her bike and showing her how to plant seeds in the garden. She loved to bring her little step stool into the kitchen so she could help me fix the scrambled eggs. I finally understood why grandparents love to share the latest exploits and photos of their grandchildren. There is hope for the future in these fresh editions who think you are wise and wonderful.

At age 5, Madison was taken by her mother to live in another state, and my relationship with her was severed. I get an occasional photo and short email from her mother, usually when she wants something, but I have not spoken to or hugged my granddaughter for nine long years. Like losing a limb, I have adjusted to the loss of my only grandchild, but there is a ghost pain that never goes away. At what would be significant milestones for Madison, I am left to only imagine how she is and what she is doing.

I hold onto the hope that when she is old enough to be on her own she will contact me and we can re-establish a relationship, but that is not a certainty. I have no idea what her mother has told her about me and I don't know how much she remembers from those early years. When people ask if I have any grandchildren, I have found it easier and less painful to just answer no, than to explain the way things really are.

For those of you fortunate enough to be a part of your grandchildren's lives, savor every moment you have with them. You are looking at the future as you watch them grow and change - the future of your family and your legacy.

Fortunately, I have nieces and nephews who share their children with me on occasion. In fact, this week my house will be full with a charming 3-year-old little girl and her chubby year-old sister who just learned to stand by herself. I am looking forward to seeing the creek behind my house through their eyes.