Celebrate dad of today

In years past, a father's purpose was to establish the linage and wealth of the family. That wealth often determined prestige, opening up pathways for advancement into society. Everything else, the nurturing, loving, teaching, discipline, feeding and clothing were left to the mothers.

In more recent years, fathers have been much more involved. However, they were still usually considered the breadwinner and were often stern disciplinarians. Today, neither of those pictures may be accurate.

As I look around Sisters, I see involved, loving dads that can be found any place moms are found. There is no certainty they will be the primary breadwinner, as that role is often shared with mom. Dads now nurture, love, teach, discipline, do laundry, change diapers, stay home, transport, bathe, feed, encourage, play, and do anything and which is fine. This, however, is Today's Dad - a wonderful, welcome change. In many families, parenting has truly become a partnership,

Since this is the new model, it may sometimes be difficult for Today's Dad to know how to navigate, if he hasn't had role models to follow. If a man grew up feeling, "Dad goes to work and Mom stays home," it may be difficult to adjust to this new way of being. If his memory is of a dad that always "meant business" he may not know how to get down on the floor and play. If his dad was stern and autocratic ("Do it because I said so!") he may not know how to discipline in a positive way, building character instead of tearing it down.

If this is the case, both moms and dads need to be patient and look for avenues that can help dads develop and evolve.

Here in Sisters there are programs and people to help. SPRD often offers classes to help develop skills. The same happens in programs provided by the Central Oregon Family Resource Center, Healthy Families of the High Desert, Healthy Beginnings, the Mountain Star Relief Center, the Kids Center and Together For Children.

There are also books that teach specific skills or provide general information that will help make the job of being a dad easier. A few of these are "Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelsen; "The Whole Brain Child," by Daniel J. Siegel; "Mind in the Making," by Ellen Galinsky; "Active Parenting," by Michael Popkin; "Raising Kids With Love and Logic," by Faye and Cline; and my own, "Raising Kids With Love, Honor and Respect, Recipes for Success." Check out what's available at Paulina Springs Books and ask what they recommend. In addition, much can be found on the web.

All of these are available to help dads learn. Seek them out and discover the wealth of information they provide. And then celebrate. The next generation of dads will have role models to follow.