Of a certain age...

The main reason I live alone is that through my experiences of living with others I've developed a preference for having my own space and making my own decisions. Some might say it may just be me, that I'm impossible to live with or have annoying habits and that may well be, but I consider myself self-sufficient and enjoy my own company and not having to pick up after others. Most things I've learned to do myself out of necessity and the few things I can't do or don't want to do, I'd rather pay someone who leaves after the job is done.

Not that there aren't some downsides, but luckily my glass is always half full. Going on a shopping spree at the Farmers' Market, with its endless selection of fresh fruits and vegetables, seems like a great idea at the time, but eating them before they spoil is a challenge. When I buy at Costco to save money, I end up encroaching on "Best Used By" dates on items I don't consume quickly enough, so I get good use out of my crockpot.

Since I often eat alone, there are no limitations on what I eat, what I want to cook, when I eat or where, whether I'm dressed or in my PJs. I can have dinner for lunch and a snack in the evening. I get take-out whenever I don't feel like cooking or there are no leftovers in the fridge. I know who took a bite out of something and put it back every time. There is no mold growing in the fridge because it is never stuffed with someone else's leftovers.

When I spill something or make a mess, I always know who did it and whose job it is to clean it up. If I forget to do something, it's my own damn fault ... no one to blame but myself. If the plant is dead, I know who forgot to water it. I can't ask anyone else to clean Cheech and Chong's litter box or take out the trash.

There are no distractions when I need to get something done. I can turn off the phone, lock the door, turn down the lights and immerse myself in any number of things that interest me for however long I care to remain engaged. I can stop and do something else whenever I want. I can go out and take a walk, do yoga or meditate or get in my car and go for a drive at a moment's notice and without asking anyone's permission.

I can be as outrageous and emotional as I want without restraint. I don't have to lip-sync when Elvis comes on the radio. I can dance like nobody's watching because nobody is. It makes my cats a little nervous but they've adjusted to my outbursts of musical talent. I don't have to argue about someone always watching TV because I choose not to have a TV and I make the decisions around here.

I'm a writer so I tend to talk to my characters, or myself, and read what I write out loud to be sure it makes sense and to check for typos. There's no one to get irritated or critical or tell me I'm wasting my time. I can argue with myself without getting defensive or insisting I'm right. If I need help, I can always count on my friends.

When married friends tell me their horror stories about living with their partners and say how lucky I am that I don't have to deal with it, I definitely feel good about my choice to remain single.

Most of all it's the freedom - freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want however I want with whomever I want. Some people might say that's selfish, but I've been a parent, caregiver, caretaker, counselor, support person all my life. At this certain age, sorry, but for the first time in my life it's all about me!