Orlando: What do you say to the kids?

All of us were shocked with horror at the killings in Orlando. Something few adults could ever imagine, much less our kids. What do you tell them? How do you explain something so unimaginable?

The first rule of thumb when something like this happens and they are aware of it is to tell the truth. Keep in mind what your kids are ready for and can understand. The fact that it was a "gay bar" is unimportant until a child is old enough to understand about homosexuality. The fact that a very unhappy person felt the only thing they could do was to create havoc, fear and great sadness is relevant.

If your children have watched the news or any of the coverage of this happening, they will have questions. Encourage questions and answer, to the best of your ability; try to explain what might lead someone to plan and carry out such attack.

Talk about mental illness, that it leads people to do strange and terrible things. Talk about the help people in this state of mind can receive. And, emphasize how much you love them and want them to talk to you whenever they feel sad, frustrated, or unloved.

If your child is being bullied on the playground or in school, let them know that telling someone not only helps them, it also helps the person doing the bullying. By telling a teacher or parent, they are making it possible for the bully to get help in learning better ways to behave and make friends.

Also, talk about guns. If you are a gun-owner, share why you have them and what you do with them. Teach, teach, teach! This is a good time to emphasize safety and for what your gun should and should not be used.

If you believe there should be more gun laws, talk about the Second Amendment. Is it still valid and important? Talk about how legislation works and how bills become laws and the importance of following them.

This horrendous killing can be a very good "teachable moment" about why we have rules to govern us.

Monitor the T.V. programs and movies your kids watch. There is so much destruction to property and people in front of our eyes that we sometimes become oblivious to its content. Not necessarily for kids. They may get the impression that that is what happens in life and the Orlando killings just fit into the mix. Help them know what is fantasy and what is real. As horrible as it is, it is real and they need to know the difference.

Most of all emphasize that they don't need to fear the same thing happening here. Not that it could never happen, that it is very unlikely. And, again, assure them that you love them and will do everything in your power to keep them safe.

Kids move on quickly from this type of thing, if parents and caregivers handle it correctly.