Saying goodbye to Uncle Bob

When my wife's charming, but eccentrically goofball, Uncle Bob suddenly hit me with a very serious request, believe me, I paid attention.

"When I die," he suddenly said one day, "I want you to promise to scatter my ashes at the top of Black Butte."

Naturally, I assured him that I would. That was several years ago, and I had no idea what his poignant request would eventually entail.

The Uncle Bob in this case is World War II pilot and longtime Black Butte Ranch resident Bob Lowery, who founded the Sisters Dixieland Jazz Festival. One of the early Black Butte Ranch owners, and Black Butte wine club founder, Uncle Bob was a notable presence at the Ranch for the better part of 20 years in the 1970s and 1980s - although there are few of his peers left at the ranch to remember him.

Still, with four family members still in Sisters and others in Bend, he certainly has not been forgotten. Uncle Bob has actually been gone for a while. He passed away, in Arizona, a few weeks short of his 90th birthday five years ago this month. I've been waiting all that time to fulfill my promise to him; but, as it turned out, his widow, Alma, wasn't all that ready to actually part with him.

This month, however, more than a dozen of us showed up on October 14 for a final farewell, with participants coming from Oregon, California, Mexico, and Hawaii. When I made my promise to him, I had envisioned a somber and solitary trek to the summit, rather than an entourage like this one with members ranging in age from eight months to 75 years, most of whom are not exactly outdoor adventurers.

Much of the credit for making the event possible goes to Uncle Bob's great-nephew, Kevin Chang. Kevin, executive director of Kua'aina Ulu Auamo (a community-based natural resource management organization in Hawaii), knew Bob not only as his great-uncle, but also as his stepfather-in-law! You see, Kevin married the daughter of Uncle Bob's third wife and affectionately refers to his mother-in-law/uncle's wife as "Mama Tia" (Mother/Aunt).

My wife, Kathi, remembers her father's brother as a fun-loving jokester, who pulled off a lot of silly stunts with her dad; but she also remembers him as the devoted brother who gave her father one of his kidneys in an effort to prolong her dad's life. Uncle Bob greatly admired his older brother; and, when Bill Lowery joined the Marines for World War II, Bob Lowery left high school early to join the Army Air Corps. Uncle Bob went on to become a C-47 pilot, dropping paratroopers over Europe behind enemy lines.

Kathi always compared her uncle, both in appearance and behavior, to actor-comedian Dick Van Dyke. Her nephew, Kevin Chang, remembers Uncle Bob in much the same way.

"My Uncle Bob was the first comedian to come into my life," he said. "He instilled in me a Buddhist sentiment to be playful and hold onto a sense of humor through life's ups and downs. He was a trickster who delighted in victimizing my grandma (Bob's sister-in-law) for my benefit."

On the way up Black Butte, Bob's other niece, Carol Lowery Chang, had this to say: "Uncle Bob is the man who brought us all here together.

We're sad, yet quick to smile as we look back, counting the memories step by step.

He had every Dean Martin record ever made! He loved good wine; and he loved to fish and hunt with his brother - my dad, Bill - especially here in Central Oregon.

He was a big tease, and a favorite target was our mom, 'Nanny.' For example, in our two-car caravan to his home at Black Butte, he led her on wild rides around every tree, sometimes doing figure-eights and intentionally going into the wrong driveway.

Bob would drive people nuts whether he was at the wheel of a car or piloting a tiny plane that was usually flying on empty."

Although this event was scheduled weeks in advance, in a very narrow time window for everyone to participate, the weather turned out to be a sparklingly beautiful, although chilly, day for a sunny October climb of Black Butte. Uncle Bob's memorial service, at the butte's summit, was officiated by his great-nephew, Jason Eisenbeis.

After the ceremony, Uncle Bob's ashes were scattered atop Black Butte, in accordance with his wishes. I certainly don't think Uncle Bob had any idea that his request to me would set in motion such a memorable family event, but I know he would have been pleased with the result.

On the way down from the memorial service, we all continued to reminisce about Uncle Bob, who never had any biological children of his own, yet still managed to create and bring together a diverse and loving family.