News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
Head Football Coach Neil Fendall in his element.
Editor's note: This is the second part of a two-part exploration of the challenges facing Outlaws coaches in Sisters.
The men and women who coach sports in Sisters love the work they do and the relationships they establish with their athletes. On the other hand, there are some aspects of the work that can make them question whether what they're doing is worth the time and work invested.
One of the key challenges is managing expectations and communications with parents.
"If you ask coaches, parents can either be a joy to work with (or they) can also be a nightmare," Sisters High School Athletic Director Gary Thorson told The Nugget. "We have a lot of parents in our community who are fantastic and supportive, donating all sorts of time, money, resources, and other ways of help to the programs... A coach might get a 90-95 percent buy-in from the majority of players and parents, but the unhappy 5-10 percent can make it miserable and frustrating at times."
Intense and constant criticism, even abuse, from parents - and parents seeking to have coaches fired from their positions - is a factor facing coaches in Sisters, but it's not by any means just a Sisters phenomenon and it doesn't just affect coaches. Oregon School Activities Association (OSAA) recently sent an op-ed across the state (published in The Nugget, January 23, page 22) noting that parental behavior is driving officials off field and court.
"According to a recent survey by the National Association of Sports Officials, more than 75 percent of all high school officials say 'adult behavior' is the primary reason they quit," the op-ed noted. "And 80 percent of all young officials hang up their stripes after just two years of whistle-blowing. Why? They don't need your abuse."
Thorson - and his coaches - see the same phenomenon and attribute it to the expectations some parents have of their children's sports career and the nature of school sports programs.
"Sometimes I feel like we've professionalized high school sports," said cross-country Coach Josh Nordell.
Parents develop expectations based on impressions of college or professional programs that have vast resources. And many parents have invested years of effort and considerable financial outlay into developing their kids' athletic prowess. When their high school career isn't going the way they'd like it to, there is a tendency to lash out at coaches.
"I think people want success all the time and don't see the value in the struggle," said head football Coach Neil Fendall.
And yet every coach The Nugget interviewed emphasized that the struggle - coming together to chase a goal and overcoming adversity - carries by far the greatest educational value in athletics.
Social media can amplify criticism and empower negative behaviors, the coaches say.
"I feel like the age we live in with cell phones and communicating behind a keyboard hurt coaches as well, as people are much more likely to share their feeling to the world when it is not done face to face," Thorson said. "There is absolutely no question social media has made it harder on coaches. Our coaches do and will make mistakes, as I did as a coach and as AD, but there seems to be much less grace and support and much more entitlement than 10-15 years ago."
Fendall concurs.
"As adults, we come unhinged so quick," he said. "It's just this kind of hyper-reactive state."
Volleyball Coach Rory Rush said that sometimes social media chatter among parents about a coach "becomes this kind of mob mentality."
Parents also are far more prone today to seek remedies for their complaints by going directly to administrators, bypassing the coach. And the coaches would like to see that stop.
"I feel like they (administrators) try to have my back, but I think they give parents too much voice and don't always direct them back to the coach," Rush said.
The protocol is to work an issue out with a coach before moving on to the athletic director or a principal. And as far as Fendall is concerned, the best educational protocol is for the student athlete himself to deal directly with the coach.
"I'd rather have the kid come talk to me, that's what I'm saying," he told The Nugget.
And no coach wants to hear second-guessing and criticism yelled out from the stands.
"Parents should be seen and not heard at competitions," said John Sanders, a longtime coach and athletic director now retired in Sisters. Cheering is fine - as long as it's positive and not yelling at and denigrating other players, which Sanders said he's seen too much of in his career.
None of this is to indicate that coaches want to exclude parents.
"I want parents to be involved," Rush said. She just wants the relationship between her and the players to be the primary focus with "parents on the journey with us, not dictating what the journey should be."
Jim Cornelius is editor in chief of The Nugget and author of “Warriors of the Wildlands: True Tales of the Frontier Partisans.” A history buff, he explores frontier history across three centuries and several continents on his podcast, The Frontier Partisans. For more information visit www.frontierpartisans.com.
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