Circle of Friends builds relationships

Circle of Friends in Sisters pairs adult mentors with young people. Begun eight years ago, the original intent was a long-term relationship between adult mentors and children (mentees) from kindergarten through grade 12.

Circle of Friends adapts, as mentees’ siblings enter the Circle, as kids and adults move, as family situations change, and as technology broadens the scope of what needs to be known. Through growth, Circle of Friends has become an inclusive solution for any young person facing challenges in school and in life. It’s a win-win for the parents, the kids, and the mentors in the program.

Two of the Circle of Friends parents, Marlynn Murphy and Mandee Seeley, talked to The Nugget about Circle of Friends.

Marlynn moved to Sisters six years ago from California. Her son, in his mid-30s, had fathered two boys, now ages 12 and 9. They live locally. Early on, because of drug and addiction issues, and because the boys’ mothers were out of the picture, Marlynn’s son was unable to take on parenting responsibilities.

“He does his best to figure in their lives,” Marlynn said.

After working in the financial district of San Francisco, Marlynn retired early and became the boys’ official guardian when they were two months and five months old, respectively. She asked that we not use their names.

“I was married 26 years, and then divorced,” she said. “It was clear that with the growth of San Francisco, I could not afford to stay, so I was called to Sisters.” Her boys were then 6 and 3 years old. “We were welcomed to the community,” she said. VAST Church Pastor Ryan Moffat introduced them to Circle of Friends.

“It has such a wonderful program, with a variety of activities including Lego robotics, art, pressing apple cider, and horseback riding twice a month at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch,” Marlynn said. The younger boy’s mentor has been ever-faithful for years. “He doesn’t see (this) as a duty. He tells me how fond he is of (the boy).”

Both boys require more energy than she can muster, and the older brother, especially, needs a male role model to help him cope with his challenges. Currently, he is between mentors, and really needs this special person.

Last year, this older brother earned an opportunity to interview for a week stay at Camp Eagle Cap in the Wallowas. Circle of Friends Director Nicky Merritt interviewed him, and even though he found it difficult to make eye contact at first, once he warmed up to Nicky, he just blossomed. When it came time to leave for camp, he boarded a bus filled with other campers and was off to Wallowa Lake. There, they transferred to horses and rode five miles to the site of the camp. Because of Crystal Peaks, both boys are able to ride, and when it’s his turn, the younger brother will likely earn a trip to Camp Eagle Cap as well.

This week at camp, Marlynn said, was a milestone.

Marlynn is enthusiastic and grateful for Circle of Friends.

“They’ve been such a comfort to my family,” she said.

It’s a positive influence on her youngest son’s self-esteem, and made him more adventurous to try new things.

“He just seems happier. It’s no doubt that his relationship with his mentor has given him more confidence,” Marlynn said.

And she’s confident that someone will step up to mentor the older boy.

Mandee Seeley greets each visitor as they walk into the offices of Sisters Park & Recreation District (SPRD). Three years ago she and husband Ryan, and children Amaya and Paxton, left Florida and moved all the way from Fort Myers to Sisters.

“We’d never been to Oregon,” Mandee said. “We started out in Bend, but it was way too busy. Then we discovered Sisters and fell in love with it.”

After a few weeks of homeschooling her two children, Mandee heard such good things about the Sisters schools that she enrolled her daughter in kindergarten, and her son in preschool at SPRD, where she and Ryan now both work.

“We love it here,” she said.

Circle of Friends Director Nicky Merritt met the Seeleys at a school event. With no immediate family in the area, “it sounded like a good program to be involved in,” Mandee said. “Amaya got set up with a mentor in first grade.”

Paxton eventually was paired with a mentor, but that situation has changed.

“They go to the clubhouse a lot, and they both participate in cooking, crafting, art, Lego Robotics, and even went out in a boat and took a trip to the High Desert Museum,” Mandee said.

“I go to support Nicky whenever she’s speaking,” Mandee said. “I absolutely love the program.”

In the three years they’ve been here, the Seeleys have, of necessity, moved a couple of times, including a short time living in an RV. But Circle of Friends has always been there for them.

“It’s definitely given (her children) more skills. Both of them can sew, and it’s given my daughter a passion for engineering. They are making friends, even with kids who are not in the same school. It’s broadened our social circle, and made the kids more independent,” Seeley said.

Soon, Amaya will get her first taste of summer camp with a week at Camp Tamarack.

Three mentors – Jeff Smith, Terry Buckholz, and Joan Upshaw – also talked about their involvement with the organization.

Smith was a mentor for three years, took a break, and has been with a new mentee for about a year. They do schoolwork, go on hikes, and play board games when the weather is bad.

“It’s a rewarding experience,” Smith said. “You can make a difference in a child’s life, and it’s fun. I enjoy playing games with nine-year-old kids. It’s a pretty substantial commitment, but it’s a good thing for kids, and I’m willing and able to do those things.”

Buckholz has worked with two young boys in two years as a mentor.

“That’s interesting, because I raised three girls,” she said. “Both of the boys had a lot of interest in math and science, and being an engineer, we have a lot in common.”

She’s worked with kids as a Girl Scout leader, a Sunday school teacher, and now one-on-one with her mentee. She also leads a STEM class of six to 10 kids. This week, they built simple bottle rockets using vinegar and baking soda, but, just because it blows up, it’s fun.

Upshaw has mentored for almost seven years. In January, she and Jim Pritchard started a ukulele class, thanks to Ukes for Youth in Bend, which purchased ukuleles from funds earned via a quilt raffle. The class meets twice a month, and usually has three to six mentees. This month, the mentees and their parents wrote a song about what Circle of Friends means to them. They will perform for the first time at Thursday’s Circle of Friends fundraiser.

Carolyn Gabrielson lives at Black Butte Ranch and has served on the board for Circle of Friends for six years. When she spoke with The Nugget, she was tying ribbons on bookmarks that the kids created during one of their many art sessions at the Circle of Friends clubhouse. The bookmarks will be given as favors during the fundraiser. Because she travels often, she isn’t able to assume the responsibilities of being a mentor, but she takes her board duties very seriously.

“We serve children who have lived with trauma or chronic stress,” she said. “No one chooses that. We are friends, and the power of friendship is without words.”