Local woman approaches grief with creativity

T. Lee Brown | Last updated Apr 20, 2021 12:0pm0

Manda Severin count

Katie Diez combines art and healing with the Comfort Seeds project, which recently won an international prize. Illustration

count

When the Institute of Happiness in Copenhagen sent out a call for submissions last year, Sisters resident Katie Diez was intrigued. People around the world were invited to submit objects that made them feel happy. Winning objects would be displayed at the institute’s new Happiness Museum.

Diez, an occupational therapist who works with children, had a unique object to send: a packet of seeds. Her “Comfort Seeds” project, a collaboration with visual artist Manda Bryn Severin, explores grief and regeneration. Comfort Seeds had already brought happiness to Diez, her young students, and dozens of participants. Why not bring them to the world?

The Institute of Happiness accepted only 18 objects out of hundreds submitted. To be included at all would be an honor. Diez received an email from the museum that her Comfort Seed project was not only accepted—it was the Grand Prize winner. The prize included an all-expense- paid trip to Denmark to tour the Happiness Museum, after COVID.

“I was kind of screaming I was so excited,” Diez said. “And then I got hit with, ‘Wait, is this real?’” Katie messaged the museum and made sure she’d really won. “They said it was real!” The museum launched last summer, with her seeds on display.

“The museum looks really neat — it’s a small place in downtown Copenhagen,” said Diez. “Simple, clean lines, very tastefully done. Someday we’ll get to go.”

Comfort Seeds began with the tiniest impetus: a tomato seed, dried out and clinging to one of her father’s old shirts. He had passed away from cancer ten years before, and Diez was ironing the shirts, intending to make a quilt. The stuck seed caught her eye. She planted it and, astonishingly, grew a healthy tomato plant in her laundry room.

She saved seeds from the plant, and gave some away to people who were grieving. Now Diez replants the seeds every year — together with her students. Many of the kids she works with are in behavior-intervention programs and have experienced trauma and grief in their young lives.

“These kids are all in their own processes of healing,” she said. “There’s something so magical about their little hands planting the seeds. Two years ago, every single plant came up. Like 50 seeds — and every plant germinated. There’s something behind that.”

Diez doesn’t consider herself an artist. A generator of ideas, she enjoys collaborating with Severin, whose colorful, earthy illustrations give Diez’s concepts new dimension. Together they are working on a book and have launched a website,

www.comfortseeds.com.

On the website, visitors of all ages are invited to share memories of loved ones passed. People can download a beautiful page to color and decorate in their memory. Grief stories and resources sit alongside friendly paintings.

Grief in tough times

The death of a loved one. A global pandemic. Senseless violence. An attack on our nation. Sisters Country has experienced waves of collective grief in the last year. Along with the national-level issues, we faced tragic accidents, economic struggles, extreme fires and smoke, and health problems.

Carrying high levels of stress pushed some people to their limits. Some of us snapped and said regrettable things. Some parted ways with friends, family, churches, charities, and businesses over differences in politics, COVID safety, or equity.

Some kicked up a fuss on their way out. Others unfriended, blocked, or ghosted without a whisper.

That’s a whole lot of loss to process.

“Grief is so personal and so subjective, and grieving is such a touchy subject,” said Katie Diez, whose Comfort Seeds project engages with grief (see article, page 3). She describes grief as a “lonely place to be, even if we’re in a group that’s experienced loss together.” Here she shares what helps her:

Spending time outside

“Getting out in nature is one of the biggest things that helped me,” said Diez. “Get my hands in the dirt, walk on the dirt, touch a tree, observe what is happening in nature. You certainly see the cycle of life as you go through the seasons.”

Accepting

Diez believes it helps to understand that whatever you’re feeling at any given moment is “not unusual, that it’s normal, really truly —whether you’re feeling intense sadness or even joy.” Dark humor came naturally to Diez after her father’s death. “I made some jokes in the throes of grief, much to people’s [shock]. All of it is normal. We go in and out of all those stages at our own pace and in our own time.”

Feeling heard

Finding an ear can help: “someone to listen, not to give you advice, but to listen.” It can be a problem when well-intentioned friends say they understand what you’re going through because, for example, their cat died. “People try to connect, to show empathy,” with such statements, but Diez said comparisons can feel hurtful.

Being generous

Watching people go through collective grief on social media, Diez noticed that there’s a tendency to judge how others experience loss. “If someone is finding a lot of gratitude, that may be a lifeline for them, not ‘toxic positivity’… it’s part of their grieving process,” she noted. On the other hand, there are folks “who just really need to say, ‘This sucks!’ and really embrace that reality.” Either way is okay. Diez recommends that everyone “be generous in our assumptions and our judgments toward each other through this time.”

Walking the path

Writer and farmer Wendell Berry inspired Diez to “find a path, and walk that path.” She thinks about it when she walks Peterson Ridge, which has changed greatly over the years. “He had a hollow, a holler, on his family property that he would walk,” said Diez. Berry watched the land change with the seasons and noticed how the environment changed, which trees fell. “You can watch the nuances of the change, as humans have wrought upon that path, or nature has changed,” Diez noted. “That can be in the city, in the country, anywhere.”

Making meaning

“There’s some power and value in creating meaning around your grief experience,” said Diez. Meaning-making can arise from a wide variety of activities: storytelling, spiritual practices, artistic pursuits, helping others, and physical movement such as dance or yoga are just a few. Creativity can unlock a sense of purpose as we process our tough times. Being “artistic” is not a prerequisite. Diez, despite the success of Comfort Seeds, doesn’t consider herself an

artist.

Writing it down

Likewise, being a writer isn’t a requirement for the act of journaling. Diez found that “having paper and pen handy, to be able to journal whatever comes to mind, has been huge.” Research shows that directed writing in particular can be helpful for those suffering a loss. A bereaved person might respond to prompts in a grief workbook, for example, writing about certain memories.

Growing

Gardening through grief has made a big impact on Diez. “It’s kind of an oxymoron: embracing the impermanence,” she said, “to hold and to love and to admire, to hold lightly, knowing it will pass.” Every fall, she looks at her dahlias, knowing they could all be gone the next week. Then that fateful day arrives. “Now they are these blackened flowers on these blackened stalks,” she said. “I mourn a little bit for that beauty that has passed. The garden will not look the same next year, it will change, but it will be back.”

Finding more help

See www.comfortseeds.com/resources for ways to process grief, and help others do so.