Lessons learned from competing

Today, while I was swimming, a dad and his three-year-old entered the pool. It took lots of concentration for this devoted father to keep his young one safe. Determined to jump in, climb out, jump in, and climb out again, laughing with joy at the fun, kept that dad on his toes. A toss in the air and a dunk underwater brought the desire for more.

All of this had me remembering the years when we introduced our four kids to water. It started with our oldest, at 18 months. Living in Montana, a dryland state, where many babies had drowned in irrigation ditches, sparked the question, “How do we keep her safe?” Babies who know how to hold their breath underwater have a much better chance of surviving if they fall in when wandering off. This is a lifesaving skill, and one a young one needs to learn early.

We moved from Montana to the shores of a large lake in Minnesota. Again, the need to know how to hold your breath underwater was essential for our children. That led to many years of fun and later competitive swimming.

Watching the Olympics brought those years back. How grateful I am that none of our swimmers reached the level of skill we’ve been watching in the young athletes that have enthralled us. The pressure they’ve grown up with is unbelievable.

However, I will always be grateful for what our kids learned during those years of competing. Discipline, perseverance, responsibility, teamwork, how to face failure, and how to be humble in success may not be lifesaving skills yet are equally important.

Whether it’s swimming, baseball, soccer, Girl or Boy Scouts, playing in a band, or participating as an individual in skiing or track, what your kids learn from these types of activities will pay off in dividends as they grow.

The Parks and Recreation Departments and afterschool athletic programs play an important role in your kids’ education. Whenever you can, make time for them to participate. Engaging with coaches and volunteer leaders gives all kids the opportunity to learn how to operate under the leadership of someone other than their parents or teachers. They will learn the importance of following rules and that no one is above the law.

Years ago, my husband, Ted, was officiating at a National Swim meet. Competitions of this caliber often determine who will be on the next Olympic team. A young man, who is now one of the announcers at the Olympics, was swimming the backstroke and he missed a turn. Ted’s hand immediately shot up, disqualifying him. This had to be a major blow to a swimmer destined to be a star. I’m sure he never again missed a turn, later going on to the Olympics, carrying with him an important lesson.

My kids had the privilege of being teammates with Mary T. Meagher who, at 14, set her first world record. Nicknamed Madam Butterfly, she held the 100 and 200 meter butterfly records for over twenty years. What I remember most about Mary T. was the answer from her mom who responded to the question of whether they were going to go to the Olympics. “That all depends,” she said. “T. has to qualify just like everybody else.” They also allowed and encouraged this talented swimmer to miss practices so she could attend Girl Scout camp for a week. She would often reach out to younger swimmers during meets and practices.

At one of those our youngest son asked, “Was that Mary T?” When he heard, “Yes,” he exclaimed, “She doesn’t act like a champion.” Teaching by example was her forte, and it paid off in the lessons learned.

Watching the Olympians, I empathize with their parents as they hold their breath in anticipation. Despite the agony and worry— it is worth it. Providing opportunities, from lifesaving skills to life-living skills, is what parenting is all about.