News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
When the community asks “Are the Kids Alright?” at a Citizens4Community (C4C) forum next Sunday, we might want to ask also whether their parents are alright.
Long-time school counselor Charlie Kanzig, who will be one of the panelists at the forum set for Sunday, November 17, 4 p.m., at the new Sisters Elementary School, reports that he’s seeing a different kind of stress in parents than he did 10 years ago: economic stress; political stress; and “the feeling that they’ve got to fill every moment of their kids’ lives with activities — which is different to me. Their own stress begets their children’s stress.”
Sometimes parents can fall into a pattern of removing obstacles for their children instead of fortifying them with the skills and resilience to learn to overcome them on their own.
“People are worried about their kids hurting, they’re worried about their kids struggling,” Kanzig said, noting that young people aren’t “standing on their own two feet” as much as they used to.
“It’s been more noticeable to me, especially with boys,” he said.
Faith Keeton is the senior class vice president at Sisters High School, and another one of the featured speakers at the upcoming C4C forum. She told The Nugget that she has seen adults intervene in interpersonal beefs among students.
“I’ve seen adults go on Facebook and bash kids,” she said. “We talk about kids bullying each other, but I’ve seen adults chime in, too. No kid should feel like their whole town and community hates them.”
Both Kanzig and Keeton emphasize that Sisters has a lot of community strengths.
“I think we have incredibly strong bonds in our community,” Keeton said, noting in particular that students have unusually strong ties with their teachers.
“Because our school is so small, we’re able to have those bonds with our teachers, which is amazing,” she said.
The only downside of that close-knit community is that it can be daunting for those who aren’t yet a part of it.
“It’s hard for new people to make friends and find their place in our community,” Keeton said.
“Overall, our high school kids are healthy,” Kanzig emphasized.
One of the primary challenges they face is not unique to Sisters: the pervasiveness of technology and social media in their lives.
“We refer to it as the biggest parenting challenge of our generation,” said Ami Formica, co-founder of Well Wired, a parent advocacy group promoting healthier use of technology by kids. Formica will also be a featured speaker at the C4C forum.
Formica notes that much of social media technology is designed to be addictive, and that young people are exposed sto a high dose at an early age.
“At this point, these kids have been raised with a lot of addictive technology,” she said. “We want technology to be used as a tool. The problem is that it’s not really designed to be just a tool.”
Formica plans to talk about collective action that parents can take to help their children manage the role of technology and social media in their lives. That action includes creating a basic plan — and the centerpiece is a pledge to insist that children wait till the age of 16 to go on social media.
“I think the pledge is a really important tool,” Formica said.
Other elements include keeping screens out of bedrooms and away from mealtime. Bringing families together to do the work is important, too.
“We’re trying to encourage families not to do it on their own,” Formica said. “This is how you firm up boundaries around these things that are so hard to build boundaries around. It is easier to do when there are other families that are aligned.”
Formica’s advocacy —which focuses on elementary school families — tracks with Keeton’s experience. Keeton agrees that tech can be addictive, and that social media can leave youth open to exploitation, and bullying in a space where “it’s easy to be mean.”
It’s not easy to simply give up social media and the cell phone.
“If you’re not on social media, you feel left out and are missing a lot of connection with your friends,” she said.
Phones have a positive role to play in communication among peers, for example, those working on a group project. Simply eliminating them wouldn’t be a good move, Keeton believes.
“If you don’t have a phone, you’re only making it harder on your kid,” she said.
However, she agrees that kids shouldn’t be on social media until high school. And restrictions on when tech is accessible are effective and beneficial. Growing up, her access to the internet was cut off at night. She no longer has those guardrails, but she is very mindful of how she interacts with technology.
“Now, I don’t have any guardrails — it’s up to me,” she said. “But personally, I don’t go on social media. That’s a conscious decision I’ve made.”
“Are the Kids Alright? Youth Wellbeing in Sisters Country” is set for Sunday, November 17, 4 to 5:30 p.m. (doors open at 3:30) in the Sisters Elementary School cafetorium, 2155 McKinney Butte Rd. Ample time will be allowed for questions and community dialogue.
Free drop-in childcare will be available in the Sisters Elementary School gym for kids age four and older. Care is being provided by Starshine LLC, a local business offering a variety of youth camps and programming. There is limited availability for kids 0-3 on a first-come basis; email [email protected] for information.
The forum can be watched online in real-time, or via the post-event recording. Closed captioning and language translation are provided. Registration required at https://citizens4community.com/events/fall-forum-24.
Jim Cornelius is editor in chief of The Nugget and author of “Warriors of the Wildlands: True Tales of the Frontier Partisans.” A history buff, he explores frontier history across three centuries and several continents on his podcast, The Frontier Partisans. For more information visit www.frontierpartisans.com.
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