News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
News and Opinion from Sisters, Oregon
Folks in Sisters turned out on a snowy evening on Sunday to take stock of the well-being of youth in the community.
The broad conclusion of the Citizens4Community (C4C) forum “Are the Kids Alright?” held at Sisters Elementary School was that Sisters has a lot of assets that support youth well-being — but there are still challenges that the community should work to address.
Panelists were Lindsey Overstreet of Mosaic Community Health’s school-based health clinic in Sisters; Ami Formica of Well Wired, a Bend-based tech advocacy group; long-time school counselor Charlie Kanzig; and Faith Keeton, Sisters High School senior class vice president.
Discussion touched on the way in which the demands on parents interacts with demands on youth to produce high levels of stress.
Parents often feel pressure to keep up with very full schedules for their children while simultaneously trying to keep the household going — and it can be overwhelming.
“I think there’s a general exhaustion and that makes it hard to do your best — because you’re tired,” Kanzig said.
The counselor — who is also the parent of five kids who went through Sisters schools — advised parents to take stock of what is on their plate, and not be reluctant to cut back. He said that it’s good that Sisters youth have many opportunities through varied school programs, “but sometimes I think kids are over scheduled, I really do.”
Overstreet is a parent as well as being a behavioral health specialist, and she acknowledged the pressure to be perfect.
“I’ve really embraced ‘good enough’ parenting,” she said. “Just to normalize that this is hard, that we’re doing the best we can is an important message.”
Keeton affirmed that point of view from her own experience as one of five siblings watching her mother work hard to keep things going.
“We all know she was doing her best,” she said. “We see that, so we have grace.”
Parents also seem to have developed an acute need to protect their children from failure — a trait that Kanzig has seen increase over his career. Intervening on behalf of a child can stunt their ability to develop skills and coping mechanisms.
Keeton summed up her take on the matter — to applause from the audience: “A parent is meant to pick us up when we fall, not prevent us from falling.”
The pervasive nature of technology and social media got considerable attention from the panel and the audience. It was made clear that it’s not a simple binary equation of good versus bad. Keeton noted that there are many positive aspects of social media in terms of providing youth a sense of connection.
“It’s not all bad,” she noted. “If you don’t fit in, you will find a community online where you do fit in.”
Formica talked about helping parents collectively set boundaries. She said that it’s important to understand that a smart phone is not really a phone — it’s a super computer in a child’s pocket that includes a calling function.
“When do my kids need a super computer in their pocket,” she asked.
Well Wired offers tools to parents looking to set boundaries. They encourage a pledge to forego social media until the age of 16, and everyone on the panel agreed that screens and phones should be kept out of teens bedrooms at night.
The panel acknowledged that technology and social media are not just potentially addictive for teens. Adults, too, can become preoccupied with their screens.
Overstreet reported that many of the youth she works with say that they can’t get their parents’ attention.
“We’re leading to a place where we’re all distracted all the time,” she said.
“It was clear that there was a lot of reflection from the attendees and the panelists around how the technology affects them, as well,” said Klein.
A parent asked about rules around phones in school. Keeton noted that students are generally expected to check their phones into a caddy at the start of class and are not to have earbuds in. Forum moderator Kellen Klein noted that there are movements across the globe to enact outright bans of cell phones in schools.
Klein told The Nugget that the forum clearly established that “there is a lot that is going great for kids in our community — but we know that not everyone is thriving.”
He said that C4C and others will continue working toward making sure no one falls through the cracks.
Approximately 75 people attended the forum in person, with another 20 viewing it online.
A link to the recording was to be published by Wednesday and a resource packet is available at http://www.bit.ly/C4Ckids.
Jim Cornelius is editor in chief of The Nugget and author of “Warriors of the Wildlands: True Tales of the Frontier Partisans.” A history buff, he explores frontier history across three centuries and several continents on his podcast, The Frontier Partisans. For more information visit www.frontierpartisans.com.
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