A complex & joyful season

’Tis the season...the season for holiday wins and pitfalls, connection and loneliness, gratitude and grief, peace and overwhelm. The holidays are a time when we are often met with paradox. The feelings evoked can be vast and varied, sometimes seeming in opposition to one another.

\When we ring in the cheer expecting a Hallmark movie special, we risk being disappointed. Amid the hopeful joy, expect it all to feel a bit messy and let’s do our best to disregard the filtered and curated images on our socials show casing an expectation of perpetual holiday bliss.

As I prepare to gather with family and friends this holiday season, there is a mix of anticipated joy and unease. The trepidation on the heels of the election is hard to ignore in a world that seems to be exploiting and profiting off division. Folks (including ourselves) are feeling a bit prickly and yet, can we find a way to break bread, pass the gravy, and indulge in pie and tryptophan alongside each other regardless?

Check expectations...

I recently found myself watching the Martha Stewart documentary on Netflix. Momentarily inspired, I took a dive into the world of festive homespun centerpieces and elevated fall decor that Martha says, is a “good thing.” Then I got restless and somewhat bored, decided to go on a hike. What turns out to be good for Martha may not quite float my boat. Beauty and hospitality are not to be devalued, but perfection is overrated. Let go of rigid expectations, embrace simplicity, and don’t be afraid to take a few shortcuts.

Safe topics of conversation...

With post-election feelings still fresh, it can be difficult to avoid opinions. For some of us with families of comparable views, this is a luxury, but for most of us, such topics could get ugly. Focus on conversing about hobbies, shared memories, travel plans, career wins, and a few compliments never hurt.

A gracious exit...

Boundaries are important. In the case that things do get ugly or uncomfortable, a gracious exit may be necessary. Perhaps this is a short break. When the options are minimal, a trip to the bathroom or a stroll outside might do the trick. I have historically leaned on the “important” phone call I need to make in such cases. For really tense moments, a polite “thank you so much for hosting” prior to exiting the building (albeit prematurely) may be the ticket.

A bit of preparation...

I am always a bit of a better person after a good treadmill session or jaunt in the woods. My family gatherings are always lively and inevitably always a bit complicated. Take time for an extra dose of self-care prior to sitting down at the holiday table. Get grounded, have an intention, and envision the best-case scenario as much if not more than the worst-case scenario.

It all comes down to gratitude...

It is easy to get lost in the details. Amid the recipes, decor, and invites, let’s not forget to take moments for gratitude that can transcend conflict and misadventures. Take time for a gratitude inventory especially when holiday pitfalls seem to stack up. Gratitude can be a welcome antidote for overwhelm.

Wishing everyone a beautifully complex holiday season. Cheers to paradox and a few twists and turns. Remember to grasp tightly the moments of joy and remember to share the cheer with your neighbors.

Happy Holidays!